Have you ever felt lost? I’m not talking, “I turned down the wrong street and now I have no idea where I am”, lost. Lost in life, wandering without a clue or perhaps a purpose. I’m sure we have all felt a little lost at some point in our lives. It’s totally normal to not know what to do or where to go at some juncture in your life.
I have been having that lost feeling since about my sophomore year of college. Sure, there have been periods of time within that span that I have thought I knew exactly where I was headed and what I was going to do. For the majority of that time though, I would have to say that I had no clue. I started college so sure that I was destined to be a band director. I loved music, I was good at it, I had always thrived in a band setting, and my own directors were amazing and influential figures in my life. I wanted to give what they gave to me to other kids and share that passion with them. I quickly realized that I was not totally cut out to be a band director. I am not good at leading large groups of people or having all eyes on me. After a short mini crisis/breakdown/cry on the phone to my parents, I decided to pursue music therapy. My college didn’t offer that degree specifically, but I “customized” my own by getting a BA in music and a minor in psychology. My intention was to then get a masters in music therapy. That never happened.
Once I graduated, I got engaged, then married. Adam went right from undergrad to graduate school and we decided it would be best for only one of to be in school at a time. As the years went by, my passion and desire to become a music therapist dwindled. I couldn’t see myself doing that day in and day out for the rest of my life. I also REALLY enjoyed not being in school and out in the “real” world.
During this period, I really started to focus on my health. I started a blog, not this one, which eventually turned into those one. I got my hands on any and everything health related and started to learn as much as I possibly could. I began to develop a passion for this and could begin to see a path for me to make this a career.
I’ve shared my goals with making health my job before on the blog, and those are still true. So fast forward to today. Adam is about to start his new job and we have moved to Chicago. We both agreed that while Adam worked we would start saving up money for me to become a health coach and start my own business. In the meantime, I would try to find a part time job to bring in a little extra cash. I figured I could do some freelance writing to bring in some money, and even got accepted into a writing “bootcamp” program that would help me learn the ins and outs as well as get published. This turned out to be an eye opener for me and caused me to panic (because I never overreact to anything….). I wasn’t cut out for deadlines, strict writing rules, and limited freedom. I started to feel lost again and like I was a failure like before with both music ed and music therapy.
Then Adam came to the rescue (I sure do love that man). When I told him my frustrations and concerns, he said that I had a really unique opportunity here that not many people get. I have the blessing of having someone who can support us financially (and mentally) while I pursue whatever I want. He help me realize that I needed to use this time to my advantage. That is exactly what I am going to do.
I am going to take this time to grow and expand this blog. Once Adam gave me his little pep talk, I immediately had ideas on how I wanted to spend my time. I got excited to take steps forward and really work towards my goals. I want to quick let you know about a few changes that will be happening here. First, and probably biggest, will be a new name and look to this page. I want to make this place inviting and user friendly, so a change is due. There will be better pictures, more posts, advice/tutorials to help my readers, and more of a presence online. Expect these changes to be rolling out soon, with an official “relaunch” of my blog coming this Friday. I can’t wait!
I know what it’s like to wander around aimlessly, wondering what it is you should be doing with your life. I have cried tears of failure, lack of purpose, and frustration. I have watched others who seem to have it all together and felt like I was doomed to be a bum with no calling. You might be going through that now, whether it’s with your health, life or something entirely different. I know that isn’t fun. Let me give you the courage and support Adam gave me. Find your unique opportunity and use it to your advantage. Take steps, even if they’re baby ones, towards your ultimate goals. Search for your passion and ignite it. Trust me, you will find your way and it will be all worth it.